Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Zombies in Politics

The real reason Hillary Clinton wasn't chosen as the Democratic Presidential Candidate? You guessed it. Clinton was accidentally exposed to the Zombie virus in late 2006 at a meeting with President Bush who was also infected. Our sources believe the meeting that put Clinton, Bush, and the viral agent in the same room was a demonstration, but we can't be sure.

Both Clinton and Bush were given strong anti-viral meds to slow the progression of conversion but require massive amounts of makeup to look even somewhat human. Both lack the ability to digest human food and have to be given a special mixture of hemoglobin and protein in order to survive.

Occasionally a picture will sneak out showing us all what we can expect on Z-Day.

In order to maintain the perception of control, Bush was isolated from nearly all of his staff for his last two years in the White House and had to be retaught how to speak. It was during this time that Bush mispronounced the word "nuclear" and was mocked throughout the world.

Clinton requires handlers who have to tell her what to say on a daily basis in her job as Secretary of State. Her motor control is also starting to suffer and resulted in a bad fall in June of this year. The result is that these days Bill is sent on more diplomatic missions than Hillary as evidenced by his recent trips to North Korea.

Although there is very little left of the Hillary Clinton we used to know, there is still enough cognitive function remaining for her to know she is quietly being replaced by her husband and she isn't liking it.

4 comments:

Unknown said...

are you retarded

Anonymous said...

Absolute horse shit. Get a life

Anonymous said...

lol

Anonymous said...

Where the hell do you come up with this shit