What do UK scientists know… that they aren’t telling us?!

From the UK:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/6049924/Zombies-would-most-likely-wipe-out-humanity-if-they-really-existed-claim-scientists.html

Do these scientists have privileged information about the when/where of the impending outbreak?
Which government agency is paying for this type of research?
If a zombie outbreak is completely fictional (like most people think), why would UK scientists be modeling it?
Aren’t there plenty of infectious disease outbreaks to be modeled – swine flu, west nile, etc?

From my experience, scientists don’t waste time or money on foolish, worthless research.

More to come…

Z-Day Population Analysis

Data smuggled out of the Centers for Disease Control reveals a frightening population shift during the early stages of the Zombie Apocalypse (Z-Day).

As detailed below, Zombie population begins to dramatically increase starting on Z-Day + 2 and plateaus on Z-Day + 17.

The Zombie Apocalypse starts with the discovery of a strange virus in a highly populated urban area of the United States. By day 21 the US population of 310 million Humans has been reduced to 11,068,902 fighting for their lives. So how do we get there?

Z-Day: The US Government, or public/private partnership, releases the virus into a highly populated urban environment. Hospitals and urgent care facilities are overwhelmed with patients complaining of flu like symptoms. Many are told to go home and see their primary care physician on the next day.

Z-Day + 1: Medical facilities recognize they are dealing with more than just a simple flu and notify the CDC. CDC dispatches teams to facilities around the country to begin collecting data. Zombies begin infecting Humans for the first time on this day.

Z-Day + 2: CDC quarantines initiated in all infected geographical areas. State governors call on the National Guard to help keep the peace. In a normal outbreak this would be a wise precaution, but with Zombies this only guarantees the large urban populations cannot escape.

Z-Day + 2 to 5: Zombies rapidly convert all Humans in confined areas. Few escape after infection spreading the viruses to rural areas as well. The National Guard is finally issued orders to kill non responsive Zombies (formerly civilians) to attempt and contain the outbreak.

Z-Day + 6: President Obama declares a national state of emergency, FEMA is mobilized. Congress authorizes force against the American people in compliance with Posse Comitatus. Hope for a cure is abandoned as the Zombie population, reaching 26 million, becomes too large to contain.

Z-Day + 7 to 16: Complete chaos. The media struggles to keep newsrooms open while the Emergency Alert System broadcasts the locations of safe zones on AM and FM radio. Most going to these locations will find they made a huge mistake.

The military will give up on the practice of "Removing" (i.e. beheading) Zombies during this period as the Zombie population grows faster than the world's greatest military can kill.

During days 7 to 16 those will little or no Zombie survival skills will be converted creating a shortage of humans who are accessible--this creates the plateau we see in the data on day 17.

On day 21, three weeks after Z-Day, will you be a Human, Zombie, or Removed?

Welcome to the impending Zombie Apocalypse!

Greetings, fellow survivalists! After studying virology for the past two decades, including DNA modeling and engineering, I can no longer remain silent about the impending genetically engineered zombie outbreak. Over the next several weeks/months, I plan on disseminating important information on how to identify, survive, and even thrive after a Zombie Apocalypse.