Zombies on a Plane?!

While "Zombies on a Plane" sounds like a poor excuse for a Hollywood movie, it's actually something that needs to be considered before Z-Day. What happens when a zombie (or soon to be zombie) is able to get onto a flight full of normal people? Will you be killed, eaten, or turned? How do you survive it?

Take a deep breath, sit back and close your eyes. Now imagine you are flying on a plane. While trying to catch some Z's (no pun intended), someone contracts the Zombie Virus, or a zombie was hiding in the plane restroom until you are airborne. The newly infected zombie's row mates will start to look very tasty, or the zombie recently in hiding will burst out looking for food. The in-flight meals that the flight attendants are serving just won't cut it! What do you do?

a) Run quickly towards the front of the plane, in hopes of hiding in the cockpit?

WRONG! Even if you are lucky enough that the cockpit door is unlocked and the zombie is further back in the plane than you are, most likely the air marshals won't know what is going on. They will think you are a terrorist and you will be shot on sight. This may be an effective strategy after the air marshals are fully aware of the situation, but most likely the isles will be too jammed with screaming people to make it to the cockpit at that time.

b) Pretend to be dead and hope the zombie gets full on all of the screamers that aren't savvy enough to survive?

WRONG! It might work for a while, but eventually you will be found, you will be bitten, and you will join the ranks of the undead. Not to mention, more zombies will be created as the mayhem unfolds. You must remain active and alert...

c) Look for a weapon. Defend yourself and go on the offensive.

CORRECT! But what weapons are available? Most likely all potential weapons were confiscated at the airport security, or no attempt was made to bring them aboard. What you must do is think outside the box. Start opening overhead bins. Trade off between opening and throwing luggage. Grab small children or midgets and hurl them at approaching zombies. Don't let the zombies get the upper hand. Try not to let the zombies feed on anyone (making more zombies). Eventually you will find a suitable weapon that can be used to fend off and hopefully kill the zombie. If all else fails, pile luggage to create a barrier. People on the other side won't be too happy, but it's everyone for themselves, right?!

d) You are in the restroom (not the one with the zombie, in one of the scenarios). Should you stay there?

Too close to call, but probably WRONG! You should hope that you aren't in this situation, because staying there could mean that you'll have even more zombies to fight once the plane has landed (assuming the plane actually lands successfully). The only way this could be a successful strategy is if the plane lands, all the zombie get off the plane in a calm, orderly manner, or are all shot by law enforcement and you're lucky enough to not get shot in the process. You get the picture, survival is slim to none if you're trapped in the plane restroom.

Closing thoughts: The confined space of an airplane makes survival very tough. Larger planes with additional isles make for easier dodging and greater chances of circling the zombie. Planes with a single isle are death traps. Try not to fly on small planes as Z-Day approaches. As a final suggestion, you might want to consider a parachute as one of your carry-ons.

Any other strategies that I missed?